When I was 9 years old, my brother and I were jumping on the trampoline. It was a hot summer day, and we were soaking up the sun, doing backflips and cartwheels. As we were laughing and playing, his laughs suddenly turned into coughs, which gradually turned into wheezes, and after a few moments, we weren’t laughing anymore. When his lips turned blue and his chest grew tight, I ran for my mom who frantically searched for an old inhaler that had expired in 2001. When the inhaler didn’t work, my mom started doing breathing exercises with him: in through the nose for 4 seconds. Stay calm. Hold for 6 seconds. Try not to hyperventilate. Out through the mouth for 8 seconds. Repeat. Ten minutes of this felt like ten hours. Eventually, my brother got control of his breath and we were able to take him to the hospital, where he was diagnosed with eosinophilic asthma.

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At the time of the asthma attack, we were living in Bakersfield, California, a city known for its oil rigs and terrible air quality. After speaking with doctors and specialists, my family discovered that my brother’s asthma was caused by the terrible pollution of the city and that his conditions would likely not get better if we stayed.  In fact, according to World Atlas, Bakersfield is ranked number 1 on the list of cities with the worst air pollution in the United States. He was hooked up to a nebulizer most evenings, which ensured that he wouldn’t run out of oxygen while he was sleeping. It was difficult to watch my parents lose sleep, going into his room every hour or so to make sure he was still breathing. 

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After moving to Utah a few years later, my brother’s asthma significantly improved. He was no longer required to use a nebulizer and, as long as he had an inhaler handy, there was no fear of an asthma attack looming in the corner. My family members and I felt relieved that he could finally breathe easy.  However, in 2020, Salt Lake City was listed as number 7 among large metro areas with poor air quality, tying with Sacramento and Las Vegas. Sometimes I wonder if air pollution likes to follow my brother wherever he goes. 

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The fear came flooding back, and we were quietly waiting for his asthma symptoms to return. I recall a day in 2019 when the air quality in Salt Lake was so dangerous, officials were recommending parents to keep their children from playing outside. One of my favorite local shops started selling pollution masks. It felt almost post-apocalyptic in a pre-Covid world. While I was living in Salt Lake County, I insisted on visiting my brother at his home in Provo, hoping that I could get him away from the air conditions of the valley. I never want to see my brother struggle to breathe ever again. Sometimes, we take the smallest things for granted. Being able to take a deep breath is one of those things.